Successful career women talk about quitting their job for the sake of their children.

PARENTS are often caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to their children. There is the perennial question of how much time one should spend with them.

The quandary that often arises is, should you concentrate on building a financially rewarding career that will ensure a decent education plan for your kids, but will probably take you away from them for most of the time? Or, do you opt for a less stressful job (or no job) that allows you to be there for all those important occasions but have you strapped for cash?

Mother-daughter bonding: Christina Hong gave up a senior position with a cosmetics company to spend more time with her daughter.
Interestingly, in Arlie Hochschild book entitled The Second Shift, she says that most women who worked full-time, were working to pay for childcare, so that they could keep working – to pay for childcare.

It’s a vicious cycle and the onus is almost always on the woman to make that fateful decision. Sadly, sometimes, when she does decide to trade career for children, it might be too late. By the time you have time for them, they might not want to spend time with you.

Cosmoderm general manager Christina Hong, 54, says her wake-up call came during dinner with the family one night a few years ago.
“My eldest daughter was sharing a story and I casually remarked, ‘I didn’t know that.’ She shot back, ‘Of course not, you weren’t there.’
“That really cut me up. It suddenly hit me that I hadn’t been around for my children much,” she says. Her two older children are now in their 30s while her youngest daughter is 18.

Hong devoted 24 years of her life to building Japanese skincare brand Shiseido, rising through the ranks from supervisor to general manager.
“I was in my 20s when I joined the company, and reached the peak of my career when I was in my 30s and 40s. I travelled constantly to attend marketing conferences, training seminars and international meetings. I was home for about a week in a month,” says Hong.

Initially, her mother helped to look after her three children. Later, her sister-in-law became the primary caregiver.

“When my daughter was in primary school, she didn’t even want to follow me home for the weekends as she was so comfortable in her auntie’s house. I had to coax her to return,” Hong remembers.

There were many days when she had to work late, sometimes up to midnight, and while Hong says she is fortunate to have a supportive husband, she feels her children didn’t have her best years. She left Shiseido in 2003 to help set up lingerie label xixili before joining another skincare company.

“It struck me one day that my youngest daughter (then 13) really missed me when she asked whether I was retiring soon. I was only in my late 40s then.

“The clincher came when I caught her sneaking off to karaoke with her friends when she was supposed to be in school for extra-curricular activities. So I quit my job and became the chauffeur, cook and my daughter’s confidant. It was also a difficult period of adjustment for her as I imposed restrictions and new ground rules.”

But, Hong felt it was a good move for both of them.

“Now, I’m a lot more careful when handling family matters. When I was working, I had many perks, including travel allowances and other benefits. But I gave up all that to be with the family. And it was worth it.
“I’d like to think I’ve managed to set my youngest daughter back on the right path as she was a bit on the wild side in the early days. We’re very close now.”

But, it wasn’t an easy transition for Hong either, after being a jet-setting executive, to become a full-time homemaker.

“Initially, I found it very hard to adapt. I felt brain dead as I was used to deadlines and a tight schedule. I kept myself occupied by going to the gym and taking up cooking lessons. It was sometimes frustrating as I was no longer having adult conversations.”

After a two-year break, Hong felt she needed to get back to the work environment. But, this was also because her current position at

Cosmoderm offered more flexible hours.
“I thought by then my daughter could manage as she was in Form Four. It was great dealing with the various principals and my peers, and it was an invaluable experience building my career. But in retrospect, it was not worth doing at the expense of my family. My message to others is that health and family are more important,” says Hong.